The Real March Madness Has Finally Begun

Check it out, bro.

I've got X'Zavier Bloodsaw for the win.

Gut, Research, Favorite, Sleeper

The NCAA Tourney starts today and that means it's time for another slap bet. Unfortunately we have three of the same final four, and we both have Kansas beating West Virginia for the title. What that means is it will likely come down to the Sweet Sixteen matchup between Baylor and Villanova to see who gets to slap who right in his face. Da Bears!

Official scoreboard here

Slap Bet II: Revenge of the Slap

If you've been following this blog at all, you know that my brother and I placed a slap bet on the college football season. We picked ten games each week (against the spread), and the winner won the right to slap his brother right in the face.

Chris played for keeps early on, jumping out to a seven point lead five weeks into the season. He started to slip after that, as I tied the score during week 11 and never looked back, winning the slap bet by a final score of 84 to 68. Bitch.

What did I win? Let me show you.



How many times do you get the opportunity to slap your brother right in his face? Well...twice, so far. I really hope I don't lose the next one.

Focker, Out.

A Slap Bet Haiku

Six picks for Keenum,
The slap bet is now over,
Thanks to the Air Force.


After Nebraska's complete dismantling of the "Air"-izona offense last night, I led the slap bet by eleven points. With the picks that had been made there were only eleven more points available before the season was over, which meant that Chris had to win every single game for the next week in order to tie. I'm not sure what we would have done for a tie-breaker, but that doesn't matter now.

What does matter is YOU NEVER BET AGAINST THE ARMED FORCES IN THE ARMED FORCES BOWL. A big slap thank you to the Air Force Academy. Suck failure, freak.

The Final Picks

Chris finds himself down by a season high nine games heading into the final week of the college football season. He still has an opportunity to make up five of those points between now and the new year (including two tonight), and there are still fourteen games to be played after those. It's a longshot, but he can do this. If he can't, I'm gonna slap him right in his face.


Friday, January 1
Outback Bowl
Northwestern (+8) vs Auburn
Bryan: Auburn
Chris: Auburn
Score: 38-35 Auburn
Point: n/a

Capital One Bowl
Penn State (-2.5) vs LSU
Bryan: Penn State
Chris: LSU
Score: 19-17 Penn State
Point: Chris

Konica Minolta Gator Bowl
West Virginia (-2.5) vs Florida State
Bryan: Florida State
Chris: West Fuckin' Virginia
Score: 33-21 BOBBY FUCKIN BOWDEN
Point: Bryan

Rose Bowl Game Presented by Citi
Ohio State (+4.5) vs Oregon
Bryan: Oregon
Chris: Ohio State
Score: 26-17 Ohio State
Point: Chris

AllState Sugar Bowl
Cincinnati (+12.5) vs Florida
Bryan: Cincinnati
Chris: Cincinnati
Score: 51-24 Florida
Point: n/a

Saturday, January 2
International Bowl
South Florida (-7) vs Northern Illinois
Bryan: South Florida
Chris: Northern Illinois
Score: 27-3 South Florida
Point: Bryan

AT&T Cotton Bowl
Oklahoma State (+3.5) vs Ole Miss
Bryan: Oklahoma State
Chris: Ole Miss
Score: 21-7 Ole Miss
Point: Chris

PapaJohns.com Bowl
South Carolina (-4.5) vs UConn
Bryan: UConn
Chris: South Carolina
Score: 20-7 UConn
Point: Bryan

AutoZone Liberty Bowl
Arkansas (-7.5) vs East Carolina
Bryan: Arkansas
Chris: Arkansas
Score: 20-17 Arkansas
Point: n/a

Valero Alamo Bowl
Michigan State (+7.5) vs Texas Tech
Bryan: Texas Tech
Chris: Texas Tech
Score: 41-31 Texas Tech
Point: Bryan, Chris

Monday, January 4
Tostitos Fiesta Bowl
Boise State (+7.5) vs TCU
Bryan: Boise State
Chris: TCU
Score: 17-10 Boise State
Point: Bryan

Tuesday, January 5
FedEx Orange Bowl
Iowa (+3.5) vs Georgia Tech
Bryan: BEEEEEEES!!!
Chris: BEEEEEEES!!!
Score: 24-14 Iowa
Point: n/a

Wednesday, January 6
GMAC Bowl
Central Michigan (-3.5) vs Troy
Bryan: Central Michigan
Chris: Central Michigan
Score: 44-41
Point: n/a

Thursday, January 7
Citi BCS National Championship Game
Texas (+4.5) vs Alabama
Bryan: Alabama
Chris: "I'd take Bama at 7. I'd take Bama at 10. Give me Texas."
Score: 37-21 Alabama
Point: Bryan

Holiday Bowl Drinking Game

So...we're gonna get shitty during the Holiday Bowl as the Huskers peckerslap the Arizona Wildcats (I'm much more confident in the first half of that sentence). Either way, a quality drinking game needs a nice set of rules. Not that we're going to remember them all by halftime anyway, but here's what I've come up with so far:



1. Whale Rule: Take a drink every time you see the whale (pictured above and thanks to the fine people at EDSBS for the best rule ever). Commercials count.

2. Suh Rule: Take a drink anytime they mention the numerous awards that Ndamukong Suh took home this season. This includes any mention of the Heisman trophy, which he did not win and anytime they mention that he will be a top five draft pick. Also, take a drink if they mention that Ndamukong translates to "House of Spears." If you can hear Nebraska fans yelling SUUUUHHHH, drink your beer, asshole.

3. Ohio Rule: Take a shot when they mention that Bo Pelini and Mike Stoops attended the same high school. Hopefully they only do this once. Any mention of Big Game Bob will also warrant a drink.

4. Texas Rule: If they show the replay of Colt McCoy rolling out of the pocket down by two with seven seconds left on the clock only to throw the ball gingerly out of bounds as time runs out but not really and Texas kicks a field goal as time expires for real this time to win the Big XII Championship 13-12 and save their shot at a national title...I'm chugging a full beer and killing myself. Fuck that and fuck you.

5. Points Rule: Take a drink whenever points are scored. However, if Nebraska scores an offensive touchdown, I think that's worth half a beer. If it gets bad, I might start drinking for first downs. If it gets real bad, I may take a drink anytime Zac Lee completes a pass. Speaking of Zac Lee, take 5 drinks if they bring in Cody Green. Take five more when they bring Zac back in because Cody just threw the worst pass you’ve ever seen.

6. Defensive Rule: Take a drink for any big defensive plays. Sacks, forced fumbles, interceptions and huge hits are all worth a drink.

7. Waterfall Rule: Anytime a player catches a pass and is running free to the end zone or breaks through the line for a huge gain, start drinking and don't stop until he is tackled or scores a touchdown (upon which point you must drink again per rule 5). Kickoff/punt returns included.

Alright. Good talk. See ya out there.

/hammered

The Picks - Bowl Week 2 aka: Whale! Drink!

Chris picked up one point on me during the first week of bowl games. He has a chance to cut into my seven point lead by picking the fourteen games between now and the New Year, including the Holiday Bowl, which will surely cause us to drink heavily. There are eight motherfucking points up for grabs. Basically, the fates of our faces come down to this week.


Chris can't wait to celebrate 10 years of Gaylord.

Saturday, December 26
Little Caesar's Pizza Bowl
Marshall (+3) vs Ohio
Bryan: Marshall
Chris: Ohio
Score: 21-17 Marshall
Point: Bryan

Meineke Car Care Bowl
Pittsburgh (-2.5) vs North Carolina
Bryan: Pitt
Chris: Pitt
Score: 19-17 Pittsburgh
Point: n/a

Emerald Bowl
Boston College (+7) vs USC
Bryan: USC
Chris: USC
Score: 24-13 USC
Point: Bryan

Sunday, December 27
Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl
Kentucky (+7) vs Clemson
Bryan: Clemson
Chris: Clemson
Score: 21-13 Clemson
Point: Bryan, Chris

Monday, December 28
AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl
Texas A&M (+7) vs Georgia
Bryan: Texas A&M
Chris: Georgia
Score: 44-20 Georgia
Point: Chris

Tuesday, December 29
Eagle Bank Bowl
UCLA (-5) vs Temple
Bryan: UCLA
Chris: UCLA
Score: 30-21 UCLA
Point: Bryan, Chris

Champs SportsBowl
Miami (-3.5) vs Wisconsin
Bryan: Wisconsin
Chris: Miami
Score: 20-14 Wisconsin
Point: Bryan

Wednesday, December 30
Roady's Humanitarian Bowl
Bowling Green (-2) vs Idaho
Bryan: Idaho
Chris: Bowling Green
Score: 43-42 Idaho
Point: Bryan

Pacific Life Holiday Bowl
Arizona (-1.5) vs Nebraska
Bryan: Nebraska
Chris: Arizona
Score: 33-0 Nebraska
Point: Bryan

Thursday, December 31
Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
Houston (-4.5) vs Air Force
Bryan: Air Force
Chris: Houston
Score: 47-20
Point: Bryan

Brut Sun Bowl
Oklahoma (-8.5) vs Stanford
Bryan: Stanford
Chris: Oklahoma
Score: 31-27 Oklahoma
Point: Bryan

Texas Bowl
Navy (+6.5) vs Missouri
Bryan: Navy
Chris: Mizzou
Score: 35-13 Navy
Point: Bryan

Insight Bowl
Minnesota (-2.5) vs Iowa State
Bryan: Minnesota
Chris: Minnesota
Score: 14-13 Iowa State
Point: n/a

Chick-fil-A Bowl
Virginia Tech (-4.5) vs Tennessee
Bryan: Va Tech
Chris: Va Tech
Score: 37-14 Virginia Tech
Point: Bryan, Chris